


First

by ShitpostingfromtheBarricade



Series: Web Series AU [5]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Grantaire pov, M/M, Relationship Fluff, borderline crack fic on grounds of cracking the fourth wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 14:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShitpostingfromtheBarricade/pseuds/ShitpostingfromtheBarricade
Summary: “And I have Daddy U--- as numbers one, two, and three on my celebrity hallpass: relationships mean nothing.”Courfeyrac has Grantaire thinking about celebrity hallpasses.This is an accompanying piece toEpisode 56of theMysteries of 24601 Web Series AU. This will mostly make sense if read by itself, but it will make more sense and be more satisfying to read within the context of the series.Warnings:discussion of casual sex (not explicit), some language





	First

**Author's Note:**

> I would be willing to engage in hand-to-hand combat over the honor of my beta-reader [PieceOfCait](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PieceOfCait/pseuds/PieceOfCait).

“R, you look like smoke is about to start coming out of your ears. What are you thinking about?”

Grantaire looks up from the sink of dishes to his boyfriend. Enjolras is sitting on the couch doing reading for school, his hair is on top of his head in a sloppy bun, strands falling out. Grantaire feels lucky all over again to be dating him.

“Oh, just.” He grabs the steel wool to start at a particularly stubborn piece of char on the cast-iron pan. “Courf being Courf.”

Enjolras is smiling into his textbook. “Ah. And what does that entail today?”

Grantaire grins and shakes his head before looking back down. “You remember his whole deal with the dad from that web series?”

“I do.” Enjolras’s smile goes even wider, and Grantaire pretends that his heart doesn’t thud a little harder seeing it.

“Courf said that he’s his celebrity hallpass—well, it sounded like he has several, but I elected to leave that particular brand of Pandora’s box firmly shut.”

“Sounds very wise.”

“Why thank you.” Grantaire is finally finished with the skillet and has moved onto the plates. “He asked me about my celebrity hallpass.”

“Does it include the dad from the web series?” An extremely amused expression plays across Enjolras’s face.

“After meeting him? Definitely not--it’d be like sleeping with the father I always wished I had,” Grantaire says, shaking his head. “But honestly, I feel like I can’t even really consider a celebrity hallpass. Like.” He takes a deep breath, feeling his cheeks redden, and he pretends to focus very hard on cleaning the plate in his hands. “Like, I’m dating my celebrity hallpass. So it kind of feels like I’ve already peaked.”

“George Blagden.”

Grantaire is startled into looking up. “What?”

“George Blagden. He’s my celebrity hallpass,” Enjolras deadpans. “I’d let him fuck me in a heartbeat.”

“Oh.” A wave of disquietude washes over Grantaire. It’s not jealousy...confusion, perhaps? Surprise? This certainly isn’t the turn he’d expected this conversation to take.

Enjolras seems to notice the Grantaire's hesitation. “The idea is that we’re still together, right?” he clarifies. “We wouldn't lose each other in this hypothetical situation. Just a situation where, if I happened to have the opportunity and your pre-approved consent, I wouldn’t be immediately opposed.”

Grantaire considers this for a careful moment. “In that case, Aaron Tveit.”

Enjolras makes a face but smiles. “The one who eats elevensies and claps with one hand?”

“Hey, you don’t get to make fun of my hallpass when you chose a fucking fanboy for yours. Doesn’t he post guitar covers on Youtube?”

“Don’t you?”

“Case and point.” Grantaire returns his attention to the dishes in from of him.

“Hadley Fraser.”

“Excuse me, whom?”

“Hadley Fraser,” Enjolras repeats, not looking up from his textbook.

“God, I don’t even know yours anymore. Ramin Karimloo.”

Enjolras makes a face and looks up. “Gesundheit?”

“He’s beautiful, and we already established that we aren’t allowed to mock hallpasses anymore.”

“Fine. Anthony Crivello.”

Grantaire pulls a face. “Isn’t he a little…old?”

“Who’s judging hallpasses now?”

He sighs. “Young Michael Maguire. Old Michael Maguire kind of scares me.”

“That’s… impossible?”

Grantaire snorts. “Like any of these are actually possible?”

“I mean, if Courf actually has a chance at ‘Dream Daddy’—”

Grantaire groans. “Don’t even joke about that, he called him ‘daddy’ at Easter dinner. Loudly and often.”

“Weren’t you the one who started that bet?”

“And I regretted every second of it. Samuel Edwards.”

This time Enjolras is the one who has to think. “Raymond Walsh.”

“Should I be offended over here? Every single person you’ve chosen looks mediocre at best, and it’s kinda making me feel self-conscious.”

Enjolras puts his textbook down and walks over behind Grantaire, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing his face into Grantaire’s neck. “Well some of us,” he emphasizes with a nip, “aren’t a fan of pretty boys. I swear, it must be that bi streak of yours, but yours are all so…” Grantaire can’t see Enjolras’s face, but he’s almost positive he knows the expression being made next to him. “Feminine.”

Grantaire laughs. “All right. One last one,” he says, turning to kiss Enjolras’s cheek. “Joseph Quinn.”

“Turlough Convery.” Enjolras pulls away suddenly and bodily turns Grantaire by the shoulders to face him. Grantaire drops the sponge in the sink just in time not to get sudsy water everywhere.

“I didn’t realize you felt so strongly about broad, bearded gentlemen with wild, flowing hair,” he laughs, reaching up with a wet hand to stroke his boyfriend’s cheek..

“Just…none of these matter without you, okay? I would rather have you than any of the nobodies on this list. I want to make sure you know that.” Enjolras’s gaze is deadly serious, even with his stupid hairbun and ridiculous lumpy knitted sweater, and Grantaire can’t help but lean in and kiss him once, lightly, before pulling back.

“Like I told you, I’m already with number one on my list.”

**Author's Note:**

> If this seems familiar to you, that's because it is! I posted it back in July 2018 (though slightly rougher--I've grown as a writer since then and have a lovely and patient beta-reader now) after realizing that I wouldn't be able to finish the web series in one fell swoop. I would have just linked to the old work to prove how long this web series has been in the works, but AO3 wouldn't let me edit a very important grammatical error, so I saw it as an opportunity to polish it up.
> 
> For those of you who are slightly less obsessed: every celebrity Enjolras lists played Grantaire IRL in a famous production, and every celebrity Grantaire lists played Enjolras IRL in a famous production.
> 
> The other corresponding piece is [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17727233), and the next episode is [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17561900/chapters/41918261#workskin)!
> 
> Did you like it? Tell me in the comments below or tell me at my [tumblr](http://shitpostingfromthebarricade.tumblr.com).


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